We have farewelled 2024 and welcomed 2025. For some, it’s been celebratory. For others, it’s been with a deep sense of relief. You might be excited about what the future holds. While another is tightly holding on to the past with their eyes squeezed shut. Possibly under a blanket.
Why is that?
How can we go through something collectively (‘Happy New Year!’), yet feel so differently about it? Of course, there are many obvious reasons. Some more subtle. And I think one of the more subtle problematic factors about ushering in a new year is the very thing we think will help us get the most out of a year, yet causes us to end up in a dissatisfied internal mess when the countdown hits zero and the fireworks begin.
What is this problematic factor? Goal setting. Let me explain.
Now, for those of you who know me personally, you may have raised eyebrows or a furrowed brow right now. Confused. Admittedly, I am the Queen of Spreadsheets and To-Do Lists (do not challenge me for this title – I will win. Just kidding . . . not really). And I’m still planning to hold on to that title during 2025 (spreadsheets and lists keep me from unravelling when there’s a job to turn up to and children to feed and an apartment to clean and a birthday gift to wrap and a car that needs a service and a summer holiday to book and a friend who wants to meet up for coffee and hair with split ends that needs a trim). You get it.
However, I abandoned setting goals a few years ago but have waited a while to write about it. Just in case it turned out to be an utter disaster. Then again, it still would have been a different angle for this blog post, I guess.
Celina, will you just get on with the point? Oh, yes. Sure.
I refer you to the title of this blog post: The Art of Becoming. Sounds very idealistic and poetic. But it turns out that it can be a way of thinking that translates into different daily choices that set you free from the hustle of unhealthy productivity, which leads to stress and the inability to stop scrolling mindlessly. And middle-of-the-night online shopping. You know what I mean.
Tell me more!
The Art of Becoming, for me anyway, has slowed me down. Over the years, I have shifted from asking myself, ‘What do I want to accomplish this year?’ (A New List for a New Year – woo hoo!) and, instead, have bravely confronted myself with the question, ‘Who do you want to be this year?’ (this requires a long walk, possibly a packet of tissues – no spreadsheet formulas required).
Who do you want to be this year?
This question moves tasks, projects, budgets and timelines into the background and brings character, dreams, people and adventure into the spotlight. You get to paint your own original canvas rather than purchase a cheap copy in poster format from the museum gift shop. Good-bye, people-pleasing and living up to the expectations of others.
How’s your character going? Love; Joy; Peace; Patience; Kindness; Goodness; Faithfulness; Gentleness; Self-control (see Galatians 5:22-23). What dreams have you buried because life is hard, there are bills to pay and nappies (diapers) to change? Perhaps 2025 is an invitation to invite your imagination to come home. It has missed you. Are the people closest to you getting the best from you? Ouch. Let’s move on. When was the last time you threw caution to the wind, got your brave on and (thank you, Nike) decided to ‘Just Do It’?
Through honestly reflecting and answering these questions at the end of the past few years, it has shaped my aspirations for the following twelve months differently. A goal to ‘spend quality one-on-one time at least once per week with each child’ (tick that box – oh, you didn’t do it this week? You suck as a parent) changes to desiring the fruit of joy, patience and self-control and asking for the Holy Spirit’s help (oh, your children naturally gravitate towards you these days? Because you are now fun to be around; they were never the problem, by the way). A goal to ‘complete one intensive writing workshop per quarter’ (tick that box – oh, you didn’t do it during Q2? You are never going to publish anything) changes to desiring to leave a legacy of words and asking the Holy Spirit for creative inspiration (oh, you ended up publishing a book, after all? Because you got your brave on and decided to Just Do It; missing one workshop was never the problem, by the way).
Do you mean I shouldn’t add weekly calendar entries to carve out time for my kids? Do you mean I shouldn’t enrol in courses to develop my skills?
Thank you for clarifying! Of course not. Make all the spreadsheets and to-do lists to your heart’s content.
Wait, what?
Because this time, it won’t be about ticking the boxes to prove your self-worth. And failing miserably and dying on the inside when everyone else around you is cheering with champagne as the clock strikes midnight. It will be about holding on to what is deeply important, meaningful and authentic and inviting the Holy Spirit to guide and empower you. And regardless of whether a box is ticked or not, it won’t actually matter. Because what you do does not determine your worth. Who you are and who you want to be will be the focus. And what you end up doing will flow from that.
That’s the Art of Becoming. Well, for me anyway.
Happy New Year!
